You wouldn’t find me anywhere near the United States. I’d be high up on a mountain in Austria, strolling through the streets of Prague, or wading in the cool blue water in Mykonos. If there was ever a consequence associated with dropping everything and exploring the corners of the earth, it wouldn’t exist anymore. I’d act on every whim, and every impulse. Mid-decision, mid-thought, I could change my own mind, because who would stop me? The only person who would be in my way would be myself, and soon enough, I would cease to exist.
I would be a better person in those six months than any other time of my life, a better daughter, friend, and human being. I know I would want to take time to reflect on my own life and those around me. I wouldn’t want pity, only those I hold close to me to appreciate our time together and value their own existence.
I would conquer a few fears. Climb high enough so that my whole body tensed and my stomach disconnected from my body and was left seven stories down. Go far enough out into the sea so that there’d be no way anyone would hear me scream if an enormous wave came crashing over me. I would get on the back of a motorcycle, because in the 1 out of 802 chance that I might crash, 801 I would ride free. And because in the end, Maybe the moments I would remember really living, really feeling alive, would be the ones when I was on the edge. When I faced my fears, when I succeeded, when I did what I wanted, wether it was right, or wrong. That’s what I would do with my 182.5 days.
I love your determination to be a better person in the sense of giving more to others, leaving more good memories for others and also for yourselves. And your wish to go on a motorcycle is so cool! I think that is one of those moments that we can actually feel our lives at hand.
ReplyDeleteTara, I love to imagine you doing all the crazy fun things that you would do in your last six months. But I just wonder, if you only had 6 months to live why would you try to be your best self when it wouldn't really matter after you had died? I understand being kind in your personal relationships but i wonder if the 6 months might be more exciting if you broke some laws and didn't act like a good citizen.
ReplyDeleteTara, I love to imagine you doing all the crazy fun things that you would do in your last six months. But I just wonder, if you only had 6 months to live why would you try to be your best self when it wouldn't really matter after you had died? I understand being kind in your personal relationships but i wonder if the 6 months might be more exciting if you broke some laws and didn't act like a good citizen.
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